Praying Even When It's Hard

Prayer should be a no-brainer in times like these, right? When we feel powerless to address the problems we see clearly or the suffering of so many people both near and far, turning to a power greater than ourselves just makes sense. Even assuming we believe in a loving, caring, and maybe even sustaining Divine Presence, there are times it feels like God’s hands are tied. Or possibly that God won’t act while we’re trying to fix everything ourselves or wringing our hands in despair that we can’t.

I do love the situations where I can sense prayer making a difference. I’ve learned the hard way that when I lift up meetings, for example, asking Spirit to move among us and guide us as Spirit will, they always go better than meetings I go into cold. Centering prayer or meditation may seem like nothing is happening while doing it, but I seem to be more present or more likely to sense Divine nudges when I do it than when I don’t. As someone else has pointed out, coincidences seem to happen more often when I pray than when I don’t. None of that is proof to a sceptic of cause and effect. I like who I am and how life flows when I pray better than when I don’t. That is enough for me to believe prayer “works.” Trusting prayer matters is walking in faith, not sight.

But none of these examples address the incredibly complex issues facing us. Praying for world peace has always felt challenging to me. It’s so big, and I feel so small noting the lack of it. And yet, ceasing to pray—which is a temptation of despair and powerlessness and results in falling asleep to the ills around us—hasn’t gotten me anywhere. My spiritual director said, as we talked about this, it would be a great victory for the powers-that-be for one person to quit praying, for one person with even a mustard seed sized faith to give up. If I’m choosing to put my energies toward Life and Love, I will keep calling that Love into being as I’m able. If my prayer only changes me and how I interact in the world, it’s enough. The Dalai Lama says that while it is difficult to bring about world peace through the transformation of individual hearts and minds, it is the only way. So, I pray as I can.

How do we do this? Pray as you can, not as you can’t. Prayer does not have to be words. Although I find words helpful, there’s no perfection to strive for. A word or phrase repeated as much as possible through the day and night works for many. I know several people holding the word trust these days. Peace, surrender, yes, and love are other words I’ve recently heard of folks carrying. If I’m in a more word time I’ll say over and over, “I trust you to meet our needs. Your will be done, not ours.”

There are more embodied ways to keep praying. Perhaps a gesture signifying openness or surrender that we make when we remember. Bringing awareness as often as possible to the bottoms of our feet touching the floor is a form of prayer. When my son, husband and friends canoed in Canada, my son brought me back a smooth piece of pink quartz. It usually sits on my desk, but when I’m feeling agitated or distracted or confused, simply nestling the rock in my hand can calm and ground me and help me be open once again. A friend wears her father’s well-used rosary as a bracelet and will light a candle for special concerns when she’s working. Use your imagination. Whatever brings our attention back to Divine Presence, to Love, to Light is a good form of prayer.

If these examples don’t help, talking to a spiritual director or a praying friend might elicit something else helpful. Of course, I always say ask to be shone what you need right now. Ask God, the Universe or angels to give you a prayer right for you today. Ask and pay attention to any internal nudges or words or music you might hear as you go through the day.

Even if all our prayer does is change us, we’re changing the world along the lines of God’s purposes. Please join me in praying through these hard times. And if you’re already committed, please know you are not alone and pray on, my friend!